I have a lot of friends that like to drink the liquor...
One night in particular I was driving one of my wonderful friends home from some random party and I tucked her in on her couch. A few hours later things weren't as concluded because she decided it was necessary to go pee. This would be fine, mind you, if she didn't assume she was already in the bathroom..
She sat up on the couch and well... yeah.
I attempted to clean up the mess after moving her to a room that actually contained a toilet, but my efforts went to waste. I found out the next day that she got in trouble for pissing the couch- weird, right?
She should have blamed the dog...
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
wisdom teeth
About a year ago I was lucky enough to get my wisdom teeth pulled...
My father, a bald, middle-aged male was kind enough to drive me home after stopping for a milkshake that I really, really wanted. As we drive in a sketchy Chevrolet truck I begin to drink my milkshake and continue on to consistently spill it all over my shirt and face.
At this point, a cop starts to pull us over and walks up to the sketchy truck to see a highly drugged girl with milkshake drenching her and an old man (that looks nothing like her) driving.
My father continued to assure the cop that he was indeed my father and that I just got my wisdom teeth pulled, but in the end he looked like a guilty pedophile. The cop looks to me with milkshake all over my face, and a drugged grin as I nod gleefully that I was in a perfectly safe situation.
I ended the conversation by happily telling the cop to have a great day and spilling more ice cream all over myself while my dad prays he doesn't go to jail.
I'm thinking the policeman should have been slightly more suspicious....
My father, a bald, middle-aged male was kind enough to drive me home after stopping for a milkshake that I really, really wanted. As we drive in a sketchy Chevrolet truck I begin to drink my milkshake and continue on to consistently spill it all over my shirt and face.
At this point, a cop starts to pull us over and walks up to the sketchy truck to see a highly drugged girl with milkshake drenching her and an old man (that looks nothing like her) driving.
My father continued to assure the cop that he was indeed my father and that I just got my wisdom teeth pulled, but in the end he looked like a guilty pedophile. The cop looks to me with milkshake all over my face, and a drugged grin as I nod gleefully that I was in a perfectly safe situation.
I ended the conversation by happily telling the cop to have a great day and spilling more ice cream all over myself while my dad prays he doesn't go to jail.
I'm thinking the policeman should have been slightly more suspicious....
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
introducing corrine
Now that I am a successful blogger...
I would like to start with a story about Corrine. I called Corrine today, my mother, and wanted to chat about the philosophical meaning behind life. Unfortunately, I am not well liked by Corrine and she continued on to strongly encourage that ending our conversation was in my best interest. Corrine has always been a believer of complete oblivion, and this has successfully created a creepily peppy person.
She probably does meth.
I would like to start with a story about Corrine. I called Corrine today, my mother, and wanted to chat about the philosophical meaning behind life. Unfortunately, I am not well liked by Corrine and she continued on to strongly encourage that ending our conversation was in my best interest. Corrine has always been a believer of complete oblivion, and this has successfully created a creepily peppy person.
She probably does meth.
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